One liners

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One liners

Postby Tuckerzdad - April 10th, 2015, 1:12 pm

Anyone have any good one liners?

I made my hamster some strong coffee today, didn't want him to fall asleep at the wheel.

Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste a lot like chicken? :doh:
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Re: One liners

Postby tang - April 10th, 2015, 2:37 pm

I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl - I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed messages.

PM with wheel questions.
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Re: One liners

Postby raysfan - April 10th, 2015, 4:44 pm

What does a dyslexic philosophical insomniac do? He stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.
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Re: One liners

Postby Rook - April 10th, 2015, 5:21 pm

Cartman wrote:I just wrote a song....

It's called, "I hate you guys" in D minor

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Re: One liners

Postby Tuckerzdad - April 12th, 2015, 12:03 am

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Imagine how much self control the people that make bubble wrap must have.
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Re: One liners

Postby RobtRoma - April 12th, 2015, 4:07 pm

Tuckerzdad wrote:Imagine how much self control the people that make bubble wrap must have.

LOL... I don't think I'd be able to at a bubble wrap factory.
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Re: One liners

Postby Tuckerzdad - April 14th, 2015, 2:04 pm

I've reached that age in life where I can't function without glasses, especially if they are empty.

While traveling, I was late for a meeting in Spokane Wa. I forgot to reset my watch to the mid 1800s.


(DISCLAIMER: The joke author decided on Spokane Wa, Change it to any city/state you want.)
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Re: One liners

Postby Rook - April 14th, 2015, 3:05 pm

Is the irony lost on everyone but myself that a member who's name is Tuckerzdad is telling dad jokes?
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Re: One liners

Postby K270 - May 7th, 2015, 2:40 am

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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No one is listening until you fart.
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Re: One liners

Postby sparks - June 5th, 2015, 4:16 am

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
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